“Still waiting,” she
sighed.The lake was now soft, and the
sky drunk in blue haze. She had been sitting on the edge of the mattress for
quite some time, being awakened that morning by a passing blue jay. Simply
sitting and waiting to see the sun rise over the eastern pines.
Her decision to sleep
above the boathouse to clear her thoughts failed. She spent much of the evening
thinking, spending too much energy in seeking meaning. She sat alone, but was
slightly comforted by the moon’s company. Just slightly, for at times she did
not like the moon at all. It was always content, and always smiled.
Still looking for answers
that morning, but finding it difficult to concentrate. The birch tree leaves
rustled and seemed to be encouraging her outside. The morning lagoon breeze was
cold on her skin, but she remained seated. Interrupting her thoughts, a
woodpecker worked on the rotten willow tree that rhythmically scraped the old
pine roof with each breeze. She could no longer focus, and threw on some
clothing and exited the boathouse. She walked quickly over the damp grass and
sand, down to the dock and stepped into the cool lake water. Young fish
immediately started to circle her feet. She took a deep, long breath. “I feel
relaxed.” In a few moments, the sun began to rise, and she managed to smile.
“Seemingly simple,” she thought, “Why did I not feel this before?"
“I am not alone. I am part
of this all. Not a single body, but part of everything alive around me. I feel
the rapture of being alive, and do not care if I have an answer. I am not
concerned. I have the morning sun and the blue jay's song above me.”